Cat Facts

Cats are awesome. Cats are very useful and cute but I find that our relationship with them reveals something very crucial to keep in mind about humans, and that is the degree of our bias towards things that are useful to us. It’s worth mentioning dogs at this point because a lot of people find dogs to be a lot more useful than cats. They are often more loyal, can be trained much more easily, and display affection in easy to understand ways that please humans. Dogs also do great in teams.

Cats do a lot of interesting things and most of those things are not useful to us. It’s really their thirst for blood while looking adorable that has cemented the cat as our lovable partners throughout recent history. One interesting thing is that, like dogs, their saliva contains enzymes that can help wounds heal faster. Cats also groom themselves to spread their oils around their coat evenly and help with their blood flow. When cats do it to each other it is a sign of affection. Cats are like athletes that spend 30 to 50 percent of their day making sure their body is ready for the next time they have to kill something. That is cool.

When cats purr they do so at a special frequency that seems to improve bone density and help heal wounds. So when a cat is lying on top of you and purring the cat could literally be healing you and itself. Cats don’t always purr when they are happy but when a cat is happily purring it is literally sending out good vibes that help with real healing. That is borderline magic.

Cats also refused to be used by the man. There were many experiments during times of war to employ cats as spies. In the CIA project Acoustic Kitty, cats were trained to spy on Russians at Soviet embassies. The cats were outfitted with microphones and transmitters but half way into most missions the cats would just quit and start looking for food. Or perhaps the cats were double agents? Regardless, cats are too busy being cats to help humans in their quest to achieve their false sense of security. Cats are firmly committed to just being cats. That is a respectable way to live.

Do you ever cross paths with a cat and it rubs its body across your legs? You might think this is adorable and that the cat must want something. Both are true. What the cat wants is for you to stop smelling so bad. The cat is helping you smell better by rubbing its own scent on you because that’s obviously much better than smelling like whatever it is you were smelling like before. The cat is trying to do you a favor. After doing so it is only polite for the cat to receive a treat or some affection in return.
Adult cats that meow are literally doing their best to try communicating with humans. When cats are adults there’s no reason for them to speak to each other using meows. That would be a waste of time and energy. There are numerous ways to communicate and they transcend small vibrations of air. The only reason adult cats meow is because they are bringing themselves down to the level of humans who still mostly communicate using small vibrations of air with each other.

There are many other facts about cats that make them a very interesting animal but these are some of my favorites. Next time you see a cat, just remember that it’s an animal with completely different priorities than you and if it bothers to spend any time with you at all then you should be grateful for the honor.

Ivan




Vocabulary

cement (verb) – to make something stronger
wound (noun) – an injury that is caused when an object cuts or breaks the skin
bordernline (adj.) – having some but not all characteristics of something
the man (noun) – a slang phrase that may refer to the government or to some other authority in a position of power
double agent (noun) – a spy who pretends to spy for one government while actually spying for another

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